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Leo's Corrupt King Soy Candle - 9 ozForget velvet ropes and VIP passesthis candle reminds you that the odds of an evil, rich man strolling into Heaven are about the same as a camel squeezing through a needle's eye. Eight scents, one satirical wink at eternal gatekeeping. Clean soy wax, smooth glass jar, and a label that turns theology into comedy. Light it, breathe deep, and laugh at the cosmic guest list. Haiku Reads: MAGA, Corrupt King Heaven? Eh, Not So Sure. What Does Jesus Think?

It doesn’t shout — it simply observes

Think less Mensa

Clip it on

Fauci Haiku Tee — Because “Personal Freedom” Apparently Invited Measles Back

and Zillow’s hot new amenity is elevated stilts

Perfect for sipping your extra hours with a side of irony

No minimums

The only thing more flammable than ICE Barbie's rhetoric is her plastic MAGA face - and this candle — so strike a match

biting satire on the label

Care instructions: Wipe with a damp cloth

This mug carries a haiku that calls out the contradiction — equal parts poetry

• Pre-die-cut chipboard with non-edge pieces